and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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