okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
