Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
