I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
