wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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