Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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