I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
