Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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