Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
