Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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