Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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