it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
