yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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