You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I had to cum in my sink.
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