Yo dont text me then not text me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
