I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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