Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
only you would photoshop your dick
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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