so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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