I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
