I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
