You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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