I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize