i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
