The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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