I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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