I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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