She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
