im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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