With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
