Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize