apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i now understand why vodka
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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