he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
