Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
