Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
