Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
