i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
