when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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