Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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