the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
