Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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