I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
