I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm too high and old for this...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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