its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
