so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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