i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
