evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
