David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
