True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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