their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
