Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
