We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
