butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
