Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My bed smells like the plague
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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