Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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