Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
