Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am midnight drunk by noon
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
