I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
