We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
