How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
