foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
