I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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