i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
