Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's rum buckets o'clock
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
