so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
