hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
